


Walk to the Ends of the Earth and Back

by emperorpenguin (dortmundbvbbabe)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soulmate AU, fictional fantasy disease, major character illness, nobody dies though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/pseuds/emperorpenguin
Summary: The news of Nico being put on injury release was shocking to Nolan. He'd talked with his friend the other day and Nico hadn't alluded to any problems or illnesses, but Nolan knew that things could change in moments during a bad practice or game. However, this isn't the usual broken bone or pulled muscle. Nico has Soulmate Rejection Syndrome (SRS), a rare but serious condition that's almost always fatal. However, when Nolan finds hope that there might be a solution to save Nico, he'll do whatever it takes, he just first has to figure out who Nico's soulmate is and convince them to accept Nico and their soulbond.





	1. Chapter 1

_ 2021 _

 

Nolan hasn’t seen Nico in person since the last time they played each other in December. They still texted on a semi-frequent basis, although that had been sporadic throughout the years since their draft. He’d seen the articles that had been written recently about Nico, coincidentally, they often mentioned him since the two of them had been dogged by comparisons since even before they met.  _ Hischier and Devils Seem to Have Lost 2017 Draft _ .  _ Hischier Peters Out; Patrick Soars _ . Nolan didn’t know what was going on. He hadn’t been following Nico’s statistics either, but he’d had three excellent seasons at the start of his career; seasons that Nolan had been envious of. He pulled up Nico’s Instagram and thumbed through the latest photos. He hadn’t updated recently, but Nolan wasn’t one to update religiously either. The most recent ones, though, from two months before didn’t have Nico in them, instead it was as though he shared what he saw for the whole world to see: a coffee cup and a black and white photo of the sunset. 

He texted Nico.  _ Dinner before the game? _

There were the three ellipsis on Nolan’s screen and Nico drafted a reply.

_ Probably not playing _ . 

_ WTF?  _ Nolan pulled up Nico’s contact information and called him. They tried to talk at least once a month, but their hectic schedules made texting just more convenient. 

“Why aren’t you playing?” Nolan asked forgoing any greetings.

Nico sighed, “Just things haven’t been too good lately.” He sounded tired, like at the end of a two-week road trip.

“I mean, we all have slumps, right? I went 24 games my rookie year without scoring a goal and they still played me.”

“It’s different, Nolan,” Nico said sadly, “I’m not sure how longer I’ll still be playing.”  
“What? Because you’re having a rough season you’re just going to retire?”

“Nolan, look, I’m tired, let’s just grab dinner when you’re in Newark, okay?”

Nolan wanted to protest, but Nico sounded exhausted and it was clear that he wasn’t going to tell Nolan much, so Nolan dropped the subject with the caveat that they  _ would _ talk about this when they met up in Newark. 

“Just don’t read the articles, okay?” Nico asked.

Nolan didn’t have the heart to tell him that he already had and that he would continue to read them, but he promised anyways even though he put a Google Alert on Nico’s name.

  
  


It was about two days before they were set to face off against the Devil’s that Nolan’s phone started to buzz. Nico was getting a lot of press all of a sudden. Nolan flipped through his phone and pulled up the press release from the NHL homepage.  

_ Devil’s Hischier Put on Permanent IR _ .

Nolan gritted his teeth. Like most official statements, there weren’t many details that were released, it was just clear that it wasn’t a hockey-related injury. Worse yet, there was no timetable for any return. He wondered if this is what Nico had alluded to earlier. It wasn’t just that he was playing badly, but there was something really wrong and worse yet, Nolan had had to find out from the NHL instead of directly from Nico.

His first instinct was to ask what was wrong with Nico, why he hadn’t told him earlier, why he had to find out like everybody else from the goddamn internet. They weren’t the best of friends, sure, but being draftmates and having been #1 and #2 had fostered a connection that few could understand. Instead, Nolan typed out a quick message, knowing that Nico’s inbox would probably be filled with similar ones from around the league.  _ Hope you feel better and are back on the ice soon _ .

The reply was almost instantaneous.  _ Thanks, see you in a few days _ .

Nolan continued to read all of the articles written about Nico hoping that there would be more concrete details to come out in the following days, but there was nothing but lose speculation. 

“Do you know if Nico’s okay?” G asked when they were boarding the flight to Newark.

“I don’t know,” Nolan said, trying but failing to conceal the worry in his voice. 

“Are you at least going to see him?” 

“Yeah, we’re grabbing dinner,” Nolan said. 

 

The Flyers were set to practice after the Devils finished up. Nolan saw Nico sitting in the stands, wearing team gear, but not even dressed for any sort of rehab. He was focused on the players skating on the ice, his presence providing some moral support even though he couldn’t join them. Even though Nolan had seen him only a few months ago, his heart almost stopped when he noticed the changes in Nico’s appearance. Nico looked how most hockey players looked after the grueling playoffs. He’d lost weight, his face looked a little sunken and he swam in the Devils sweatshirt. The other Flyers noticed but were polite enough to not say anything. 

Nolan grabbed Palmieri in the hallway as he headed towards the locker room. “What’s wrong with him?”

Palmieri had become captain after Andy Greene had retired and Nolan was sure that at least he would be privy to that sort of information. He could see the conflict cross Palmieri’s face as he debated whether he should tell Nolan or not. It wasn’t his secret to say, but there must have been something on Nolan’s face that convinced him otherwise. 

“Have you heard of Soulmate Rejection Syndrome?” Palmieri asked.

“I mean, yeah, they teach you that in health class, but it’s not real, right? I thought it was one of those things that they tell you as a scare tactic,” Nolan said.

Palmieri laughed dryly, “Unfortunately, it is very, very real. It’s rare, but it does happen.”

“I mean, but he’ll be fine, right?”

Palmieri swallowed thickly and Nolan saw unshed tears in his eyes. “The prognosis isn’t good.”

“But it can be fixed, right? It’s not too late the bond just needs to be accepted and then it’ll reverse, right?” Nolan asked, on the verge of hysteria.

“It’s been years, if his soulmate hasn’t accepted him by now, it probably won’t change,” Palmieri said resigned. 

“Do you know who it is?” Nolan asked.

“No, he won’t tell me, tell any of us, but we all have our guesses.”

“Who?”

“Nolan, I think you should just drop it.”

“No, I mean it can still be changed right, I don’t understand why you aren’t doing something about it.”

“Because there is nothing we  _ can _ do,” Palmieri yelled. “Don’t you think that if we could change this, if we could convince whoever it is to be with Nico, to accept the bond we’d be at their door right now, but there’s nothing we can do.”

“Kyle-” A voice snapped and they both turned to see Nico leaning against the wall clearly having overheard their conversation. Palmieri had the decency to at least look sheepish but didn’t look like he regretted telling Nolan.

Palmieri approached Nico and they spoke in hushed whispers. Nolan was only privy to a few words out of the conversation, but Nico’s irritability was palpable. “He deserves to know,” Palmieri said.

“It wasn’t your right to tell him.”

Palmieri stalked away and Nico and Nolan were left alone in the locker room area. In the back of Nolan’s mind, he was aware that his teammates were almost all out on the ice since the Devils had vacated, but hockey was the last thing on his mind.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Nolan asked.

Nico shrugged, “I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me now.”

“We’re friends, though. You should have told me,” Nolan said.

“Why what would you do?” Nico asked.   
“I don’t know, but that’s… it’s not fair,” Nolan said still in shock from the news. 

Nico shrugged, “It happens, I mean there’s not much to say.”

“We can talk about this at dinner, right. I want to know all about it,” Nolan said with an urgency.

“I don’t want to grab dinner with you and talk about this, don’t you understand, this is why I didn’t want to say anything,” Nico snapped and jerked away from Nolan. “I’m going home.” He turned away and headed to the locker room to join his teammates and without a doubt, Nolan knew he had reacted in the wrong way.

 

Practice was a disaster. Nolan was distracted the entire time and ran into Sean Couturier as they were practicing their power plays. He was dismissed after twenty-five minutes after he missed yet another pass, and he stalked down the hall stripping off his padding and heading to the visitors’ locker room. He pulled out his phone and typed in the condition in WebMD, knowing that his knowledge was limited to the few things they’d mentioned in health and biology. The condition was so rare that he didn’t know anybody who had it and the description in his books had just taken up a column of a page. 

 

_ Soulmate Rejection Syndrome (SRS) _

 

In the rare event of a soulmate rejecting the bond, the rejected partner begins to experience soulmate rejection syndrome. While the rejection has little impact on the one partner, the rejected begins to exhibit progressive symptoms resulting in physical deterioration. Symptoms can be temporarily relieved if the rejected is within close proximity of their soulmate, though it provides only marginal help. It happens in about 0.5% of all soulmate matches. If the bond is accepted then the condition can reverse and resolve itself in less than three months, however, the condition is almost always fatal within five years of a rejection among adults. 

 

_ 0.5% _ . Nico was in that small percentage. It seemed so unfair and cruel that someone as kind and good as Nico would be afflicted by this, but the last sentence provided a small amount of hope. It could be reversed if the bond was accepted. Nolan just had no idea how to do that. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Nolan texted Nico an apology for pushing him. He stood by the fact that Nico should have told him, that even though they weren’t the closest of friends, Nolan shouldn’t have found out from the internet, but he knew that this wasn’t about him. It was about Nico, yet amidst the hurt and shock and concern, Nolan had made it about him. 

_ Can we still meet up later?  _ Nolan asked. 

_ I don’t know if I’m up for it _ , Nico replied. Nolan wasn’t sure if he was meant to interpret it as Nico didn’t want to spend time with him or if he wasn’t feeling well. 

_ Please, I’ll come by your place. _

_ Fine, but we’re not going to talk about this.  _ Nico followed the text message up with his address, just a few blocks from the arena and Nolan hailed a cab as soon as practice wrapped up. He was on the receiving end of the coach’s glares and tried to pay attention, but he wasn’t focused and none of his teammates could blame him. 

“I’m not coming to dinner,” Nolan said when he pulled G aside. There were a thousand questions on the tip of Claude’s tongue, most of which Nolan wondered himself. Instead, Claude just pulled Nolan in for a captainly hug.

“Okay, just be back for curfew.”

Nolan hailed a taxi and gave the address to Nico’s apartment, asking to stop only once to grab some food on the way. Normally he’d have bought a six-pack of beer, but he was pretty sure that wouldn’t help Nico’s condition even if it wasn’t really a physical illness. 

He waited inside the foyer waiting for Nico to buzz him up and for awhile he wondered if Nico even would. Even though Nico had given him his address, they hadn’t parted on the best of terms.

“Sorry, I just woke up,” Nico said. Without any further preamble, he buzzed Nolan in and Nolan headed for the sixth floor. Even for a NHL superstar, the apartment was modestly comfortable. Nico could have moved out a long time ago once he’d signed his second contract, but he chose to stay in his second apartment. 

The door to Nico’s apartment was propped open and Nolan saw him leaning against the doorway.

“I brought food.”

“Really? Salad?” Nico lamented after he looked in the bag. 

“Are those the Swiss manners your mother raised you with?” Nolan asked.

Nico rolled his eyes but accepted the salads that Nolan offered to him, “Thank you for the salads.”

Nolan just smiled. 

“I don’t know what you want to do? I guess there’s some TV,” Nico shrugged. His hair was mussed and shirt crumpled, but even so it barely looked like he’d slept. 

There were blankets piled on the couch, more than even Nolan’s grandmother had, but he didn’t comment on them. Nico kicked his feet under the blankets but scooted so that there was enough room for Nolan to sit on the other end. There was so much that Nolan wanted to say, that he wanted to ask, but he also knew that Nico’s conditions were ones that he’d enforce. 

Nico had put on the basketball game between the Raptors and the Knicks. When he was sure Nico was focused on the game, Nolan snuck a couple of glances over at him. He wasn’t sure why, rationally he knew that Nico was the same person that he’d always been, but the transformation was almost shocking. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Nico said. 

“I’m not,” Nolan denied, even though it was clear that Nico had caught him red-handed. 

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” Nico said as he fiddled with the edge of a blanket.

“

“Not just you, but, like, everybody,” Nico said, “When people find out that I’m sick they treat me differently as if I’m suddenly fragile, and when they find out it’s SRS they just look at me with pity.”

Nolan wanted to point out that Nico  _ was _ fragile, but even if Nico put on a brave face, Nolan knew that Nico was most aware of the situation and the changes to his body. 

“I’m looking at you to see your face when the Knicks lose,” Nolan said.

Nico smiled, “Well sucks for you because they won’t.”

They watched the rest of the game mostly in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. There were still those unanswered questions and Nolan was sure that he was bound to ask them at some point, but for today, he could promise that he wouldn’t ask those questions. The game wrapped up and the Raptors lost by a significant margin, but Nico looked relaxed. 

“I think you should go,” Nico said. It wasn’t hostile this time, but just tired. 

“I can stay a little longer,” Nolan said. 

“I can’t promise that I’ll stay awake,” Nico’s eyes were already fighting to stay open. Nolan had only been there for two hours and already Nico was on the verge of exhaustion. 

“That’s okay,” Nolan said. 

“Those aren’t the manners my mom raised me with,” Nico said with a faint smile. 

Nolan chuckled genuinely, “Go ahead and take a nap, I’ll wake you up if I have to go.” 

Nico tried to protest some more but sleep was calling him, “You can use my computer, okay. Just wake me up in an hour, okay?”

Nolan agreed even though he knew that one hour would probably turn into two. He watched as Nico headed to his bedroom and then began to surf the internet. He first started with just the news checking on the standings to make sure that Philly was still just a few wins away from being number one in their division. 

He knew that he shouldn’t research SRS, but Nico wasn’t answering any of his questions nor was he volunteering any information. 

He ran another Google search, this time going beyond the WebMD result and searching a little further. He stumbled across a support site for family members of people with SRS. It wasn’t exactly their relationship but nevertheless the forum had a lot of information that contained relevant medical information in a way that Nolan could understand. 

 

Stage 1: 1-6 months after rejection

| 

Symptoms: Uneasiness, general mal-a-l’aise, irritability  
  
---|---  
  
Stage 2: 6-24 months after rejection

| 

Symptoms: Increased irritability, increased fatigue  
  
Stage 3: 2-4 years after rejection

| 

Symptoms: Minor muscle loss, loss of appetite  
  
Stage 4: 4-4.5 years after rejection

| 

Symptoms: Progressive fatigue, low energy  
  
Stage 5: 4.5- 5 years after rejection

| 

Symptoms: Increased sleep, will result in coma, eventual death  
  
 

Nolan didn’t know for sure, but just from seeing Nico he assumed he was in the 4-4.5 year range. There wasn’t much time left. 

“What are you looking at?” Nico asked rhetorically. In the midst of his concentration, Nolan hadn’t heard Nico wake up and come out of his room. 

“I didn’t say anything,” Nolan said as he closed the laptop as quickly as possible. 

“You took longer than I thought you would,” Nico said. 

“Is that all it takes to impress you?” Nolan asked. 

“The bar is set very low,” Nico replied. They smiled for a second before the seriousness of the situation set in. 

“I know I said I wouldn’t talk about it, but can I just ask one question?” Nolan asked. 

Nico eyed him warily but nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell anybody?”

Nico shrugged, “I didn’t want people to know me as the guy with SRS, and for a while I was in denial, the symptoms weren’t really visible so I was able to hide it, but I started sleeping a lot in the past year and I couldn’t hide it for longer.”

“So you just suffered alone?” Nolan asked.

Nico just shrugged and looked away. Nolan grabbed him and pulled him close much to the other man’s surprise. Nolan felt how loose the clothing was and how bony Nico had become. “Please don’t shut us out, you’ll never be alone again, I promise.” Nico had been surprised but eased into the touch. 

“I’m sorry,” Nolan said, and he was. Because Nico was a good person, he was a good player and he didn’t deserve this. “I’m so sorry.”


	3. Chapter 3

As Nolan promised, he arrived back at the hotel before curfew with the guilt of leaving Nico behind. The nap had helped him regain some energy and brought some much needed levity to the apartment. 

“How is he?” G asked when he saw Nolan arrive back at the hotel. 

Nolan just shrugged, “I mean, you know what’s wrong with him.”

“Yeah,” G said, “I knew someone like this once, a kid from my high school. I kind of figured it was the same with Nico.”

“So you know how it ends,” Nolan said.

“Yeah,” G replied. He grabbed Nolan into a warm hug and this time Nolan was the one being comforted. He’d never admit that he needed it as much as he did. There were more people than just him affected by this, Nico’s family, his teammates, his friends, and Nolan was just one amongst many.  “Did you eat?” 

“Yeah, I grabbed a salad earlier,” Nolan said.

“Okay, rest up then for the game tomorrow,” Claude said. Nolan nodded and headed towards his room. He didn’t have to share with someone, nowadays, but often Ivan or Travis would come to hang out and watch TV and they sometimes fell asleep before leaving. Today, though, he wished he was still sharing a room with someone. Having company would at least take his mind off of the current situation. Now that he knew, though, Nico having SRS consumed him. He reluctantly understood why Nico hadn’t told him, hadn’t told anybody, and yet it seemed so fucking selfless for him to be burdened by this alone. 

 

Nolan didn’t get much sleep that night. Instead he was awake at three in the morning scrolling through Instagram and Twitter since sleep evaded him. 

  
  


The game was frustrating. The rivalry had already caused it to be a high stakes game, but Nolan was taking a physical beating throughout it. Taylor Hall checked him into the boards, hard. It was a clean check, but one that took Nolan off-guard nonetheless. They didn’t know each other well aside from having grabbed dinner together once or twice in a larger group of players, but they had been cordial and followed each other on Instagram afterwards. Even more so, Hallsy wasn’t known for a particularly physical game even though he could handle himself on the ice. Today, though, was different. Every time that they shared the ice, Hall made a beeline for Nolan drawing sloppy penalties that frustrated the Devils’ bench and their coach. After the fourth or so check of that kind, Nolan was aggravated. 

“Do we have a problem?” he asked after the ref blew the whistle to stop play.

“Yeah, you’re a dick,” Hall said. 

The frank admission stunned Nolan almost causing him to miss the face off. 

 

It wasn’t just Nolan who seemed to notice the change in Taylor Hall. “Who pissed in his cereal this morning?” Travis asked as they made their way towards the locker room for the first intermission. The coach switched up lines so that Simms was now on Nolan’s line. Nolan might think twice before fighting with Hall, but Simms wouldn’t. 

It seemed as though Hall had gotten an ear burning in the locker room 

Nolan looked towards the management box in a split second of calmness to see if Nico was there. He’d texted him earlier to say that he would be there. It was all of a sudden that he saw gloves drop out of the corner of his eye and saw Taylor Hall coming after him. The fight didn’t last long. He could fight, but he’d been caught off guard and it was quite clear that he lost the skirmish. Nevertheless, the few jabs he got in sent him to the penalty box. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nolan yelled through the glass.

“Oh you know you fucking selfish prick,” Hall jawed back. 

Nolan knew that the fight would leave him with bruises in the morning but there was no lasting damage done. 

“What the fuck is up with Hall today?” someone wondered aloud in the dressing room.

“I mean he and Nico are friends, right? So maybe it has something to do with that.”

“But Nolan doesn’t have anything to do with it, you see how he’s been targeting him,” Nolan winced but felt some validation that he  _ was  _ being singled out. 

“Look, we have one more period so let’s just finish up the game,” G said.  

The third period had quieted down, thankfully, Hall was benched and Nolan was able to pay attention to the game and garner an assist. 

 

“Hall, wait! Look, I don’t know if this is about Nico or what, but we’re on the same side,” Nolan said trying to make amends before he was going to head back to Philly.

“No, we’re no,” Hall said as he shoved past Nolan who was still befuddled by Taylor’s aggression.

Nico made his way down to the locker room area by the time they finished getting showered and changed. He winced when he saw the bruises that were beginning to form on Nolan’s face. “Sorry about Hallsy.”

“Yeah, what was that about?” Nolan asked.

“He’s just kind of protective over me, we’ve talked about this, but he’s taking the whole thing badly. I’ll talk to him, though. This won’t happen again.”

As if he was a bodyguard, Hall approached them and glared at Nolan. “You better go,” Nico said as he gestured towards the Flyers’ who were heading for their bus.   
“Yeah, but, um our break is coming up and I was thinking maybe I could come here for part of it.”

“I don’t think you should,” Taylor answered, though Nico was quick to silence him with a sharp elbow. 

“I don’t want you to come because you feel obligated.”

“No, I want to, you can show me all the Newark charm,” Nolan said. 

“Nico can decide later,” Hallsy said and Nolan knew he was clearly being dismissed. 

“Yeah, just let me know,” Nolan said and quickly hugged Nico goodbye. As he was leaving, he couldn’t help but overhear Nico scolding Taylor.

“Really? A fight?”  
“He deserves it.”

“No, he doesn’t, and it certainly isn’t your job to do whatever you’re doing.”

“I don’t like him.”

“See…” The conversation faded to the point of unintelligibility, but Nolan couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something to make Taylor snap. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little unsure about this chapter, but I hope you like the update.

Since Nico was in the later stages of the condition, Nolan tried to backtrack. Four years ago would put him around the time of the draft and Nolan didn’t know for sure, but Nico had met so many people during that time that Nolan wondered if one of them was his soulmate. He knew that it was highly unlikely that a regular fan would make a connection or be impactful enough to reject the bond. Most soulmates, even if they had different careers or different nationalities crossed paths enough for a bond to occur. So he pulled up a list of all the draftees from the 2017.

“What’s that?” TK asked as he peered over the seat rest to look at Nolan’s computer screen. 

“Everybody who was either drafted or eligible for the draft in 2017.”

“Why?”

Nolan weighed whether or not he should tell TK about Nico. It wasn’t his secret to share and there was a reason that Nico hadn’t divulged his condition to others. 

“He has SRS,” Nolan said, knowing that TK wouldn’t share the details liberally with others. TK blinked slowly.

“So what does that have to do with the roster?” TK asked taking the news in stride. 

“He’s in the advanced stages, right. So he had to have been rejected about four or four and a half years ago which would put him right around the draft.”

“Do you know how many people you all met at that time?” TK asked and Nolan almost wanted to punch him because he knew that they had met countless people and Nolan knew that Nico’s soulmate could very well not be someone he knew or someone that wasn’t even from the draft. But this was his best and only idea.

TK must have seen Nolan’s disappointment and frustration because he cleared his throat and took a seat in the spot next to him. 

“Well, you were with him pretty much the entire time, right? So who did he hang out with?” TK asked. 

“I don’t know… I mean we hung out with the same people.”  
“Okay, so who were they?” Travis asked

“Uh, the top twenty prospects, mostly,” Nolan said as he tried to recall who they travelled with.

“So why don’t you focus on them first, assuming the timeline is right he’d have to have spent some time with them for there to even have the possibility of being soulmates.” 

TK took the laptop from Nolan and scrutinized some of the names. “Okay, so Lawson’s in the same division as the Golden Knights. I’m pretty sure that Nick Suzuki and Erik Brannstrom are both still with their high school girlfriends, so that wouldn’t match up. I don’t know anything about Cody Glass, so we’ll keep him on there.”

Nolan was grateful for Travis’s interconnectedness with the rest of the league. It wasn’t that Nolan didn’t have connections or that he wasn’t friendly with his draftmates, but the distance across the league had caused him to lose contact aside from friendly greetings and occasionally catching up when they met in games. 

Between the two of them they whittled down the Top 11, but Nolan wasn’t sure that they were right when he looked at the list. Most of their deductions came from league-wide gossip and Nolan’s memories of nearly five years before.  

 

  1. ~~Nico Hischier~~
  2. ~~Nolan Patrick~~
  3. ~~Miro Heiskanen~~
  4. Cale Makar
  5. ~~Elias Pettersson~~
  6. Cody Glass
  7. Lias Andersson 
  8. Casey Middelstadt
  9. ~~Michael Rasmussen~~
  10. Owen Tippett
  11. Gabe Vilardi



  
“So what are you going to do with this?” TK asked.

“Try and change their mind, whoever they are,” Nolan said.

“What if-” TK started, but Nolan knew what he was going to ask. It was the same question that was nagging at the back of his mind as well. 

“I will change their mind,” Nolan insisted. He had to, he didn’t have a choice. 

“Will you be okay though?” TK asked.

“Of course, he has to be okay,” Nolan raised his voice and noticed a few players turn their heads to see the commotion.

TK just raised his arms in surrender, “Sorry, I just… I guess I got it wrong.”

“What?”

“It’s just… I don’t know if I would be doing all this for a draftmate,” TK said.

“Well, Nico’s not just a draftmate, he’s a friend,” Nolan corrected him. 

“Right…” TK said, “Well, I don’t know if I would do all this for just a friend either.” 

Nolan didn’t know how to respond to that, “It’s his only chance.”


	5. Chapter 5

Nolan hadn’t heard from Nico in a while, but from the limited news coming out from the Devil’s camp, it was clear that the administration and his teammates were going at great lengths to protect his privacy. Nolan hadn’t heard more from him since they’d seen each other in person. The offer was still on the table for either Nico to come visit Philly or for Nolan to head to Newark for the bye-week, and part of Nolan wanted to solidify plans, but given Taylor Hall’s reaction he wasn’t sure if it was wanted. 

For the better part of two days, Nolan wondered if he should call or text Nico offering his apartment once again and after getting caught by Simms looking at his phone for the nth time and receiving a knowing look.

So in the privacy of his home, Nolan called Nico’s number, “Hey, It’s Nolan, which, I mean of course you know. I hope you’re doing well, I know I had mentioned this earlier, but uh, bye week is coming up and I was thinking maybe I could come visit, only if you want, or, um, you could come to Philly for a change of pace, if you want? Just let me know, because I’d really like to see you.”

Nolan didn’t expect an immediate reply, but as the hours progressed and he had yet to hear back from Nico, he wondered if he made the right decision. The rest of the team could tell that he’d been stressed since they’d played the Devils and it didn’t take a genius to realize it was because of Nico.

It had taken some digging and some awkward phone calls with friends of friends, but Mika Zibanejad had given him Lias Andersson’s number with minimal coaxing and Nolan decided to call him. Talking about soulmates wasn’t taboo, but it certainly wasn’t small talk either and Nolan had only really spoken to Lias in hockey situations, but he bit the bullet and dialed his number. He half-hoped that it would reach the answering machine just like it had with Nico, but this time there was a response. 

“Hello,” Lias answered.

“Hi, uh, this is Nolan Patrick, from the Flyers. Uh, we were in the same draft class.”

“Hi,” Lias responded, now with recognition, but still confusion.

“How are you?”

“Good, but I’m assuming you didn’t just call me out of the blue just to ask how I was doing.” 

Nolan sighed, “Look, I wouldn’t ask this if it wasn’t important, but uh, do you have a soulmate?”  
“Look, Nolan, uh you’re not my soulmate.”

“No, I know, fuck, I’m doing it all wrong. I know you’re not my soulmate. I don’t even have…” Nolan took a deep breath, “I’m asking about Nico.”

“Hischier?” Lias asked, “Holy shit… is that… I mean there are rumors around here, but we didn’t think…”

“I’m trying to find his soulmate to try and fix things.”

“It’s not me, sorry, I wish I could help you, but…”

“But what?”

“I mean, wouldn’t you of all people know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you think it’s someone from the draft, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be calling me.”

“Right.”  
“So you guys were together pretty much the whole time. Not just for professional reasons, but you guys were practically glued at the hip. Wouldn’t you know who it was?”

Nolan gritted his teeth. Lias wasn’t wrong, but he was reflecting Nolan’s own doubts and insecurities. “I don’t  _ know _ .”

“Okay, hold on, have you talked to Casey? I think he and Nico kept in contact after the draft.”

“No, I haven’t,” Nolan said.

“Okay, I’d check with him. I don’t know if it  _ is _ Casey, but he might know who it is.”

Lias gave Nolan Casey’s number, which Nolan quickly added to his address book and said, “Hey, I really hope things are okay. I’ll keep listening for any rumors, it might help.”

“Thanks,” Nolan said. He was able to cross off one more name from the list he’d compiled, but didn’t feel as though he’d made much progress. Just because the list was narrowing didn’t mean that Nico’s soulmate was even  _ on  _ the list to begin with.

 

He had practice in the afternoon and tried as best to focus. Though his teammates might have pieced things together about Nico, he had incurred the wrath of Hakstol who’d been annoyed by his recent play. It was one thing to keep your personal life off the ice, but this whole thing with Nico had started to put things in perspective for Nolan. He wasn’t the same wide-eyed rookie he’d been nearly five years before. Hockey wasn’t everything. He knew that; he was just reminded of it once again. 

He stuck around after practice, shooting pucks in an empty goal trying to relieve stress. His jersey was soaked with sweat, and he noticed Simms come back to the ice after he thought everyone had left. 

“What?” Nolan asked as he flipped a puck. 

“C’mon, you did good today, take a break,” Simms said.

Nolan just shrugged, “I want to get in a few more shots.”

Simms paused and Nolan could see he wanted to say something else, but decided against it. Nolan was grateful when Simms just walked away. 

 

He showered and changed and the small reprieve that hockey had given him slowly dissolved as he was forced to return to reality. He was almost back to his apartment when the phone rang.

“Hello,” he said as he put it on speaker.

“Hey,” Nico’s distinct voice answered.

“Hi, hey. How are you?” Nolan asked. 

“I’m… okay,” Nico said. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, I’m doing well. Uh, I got your message.”

“I didn’t want to be forceful, I just, I wasn’t sure if you forgot about my offer given everything else.”

Nico paused. “I didn’t forget. I just didn’t think you were serious.”

“Of course, I was serious. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”

“Just we don’t really do this,” Nico said. 

“Look, if you don’t want to come or whatever, it’s fine, but I meant it when I offered it.”

“I know, I just, I don’t want you to offer it because of the… circumstances,” Nico said, “We haven’t really hung out outside of hockey before, and that’s fine, but I don’t want to go if it’s just because I’m sick.”  
“It’s _not_ ,” Nolan said, “I mean it might have prompted it, but I want your company, whether that’s in Philly or in Newark.”

Nico paused and Nolan wondered if they’d been disconnected before he cleared his throat, “I haven’t spent much time in Philly.”

“I know. There are so many cool places that I can show you,” Nolan smiled as he heard Nico start to come around to the idea. 

“If it’s okay, I think I’d like to come visit you,” Nico said.

“Okay. That’s great!” Nolan said, “I’ll plan everything.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little gap in updates, I was doing an exchange and then kind of had writer's block. I hope you enjoy the update. Nico's in Philly now.

Nolan had warned the Flyers no less than three times how to act around Nico in preparation for his stay. If they didn’t know how stressed out and concerned Nolan was he would probably have been snapped at. The rookies, not knowing the full history or story just nodded appropriately as Nolan pointedly stared at them. 

“Nolan, it’ll be fine,” Sean reassured the day that Nico was supposed to arrive. Nolan knew that one of his teammates was planning on bringing him to ensure that he would arrive safely. He hoped that it  _ wasn’t  _ Taylor Hall, though he was just excited and anxious to see Nico. Practice flew by and Nolan dodged the media questions so that he could get home early and make sure everything was in place. He’d fully restocked the fridge and looked up the healthiest recipes to make for Nico’s stay. He’d put new sheets in guest bedroom that had been vacant since his parents’ last visit. He felt a nervousness that had been absent since he’d first met Nico settle in his stomach.

Just a few minutes before Nico was set to arrive, the buzzer rang and a familiar voice was on the other end.

“Hi Nolan, uh sorry I’m a little early,” Nico said hesitantly.

“No, it’s perfect timing,” Nolan said and buzzed him in.

Nolan propped the door open and waited for the elevator to arrive on his floor. Nico walked out, followed by Jesper Bratt who was dragging two suitcases behind him. The tension that Nolan didn’t even realize he was carrying subsided once he realized Taylor Hall hadn’t come. 

“Hey,” Nolan reached over and gently hugged Nico before shaking Jesper’s hand. 

He lead the two of them into his apartment and directed Jesper to Nico’s temporary room so that he could set the bags down. 

“How are you?” Nolan asked for lack of anything better to say.

“Okay,”  Nico replied. Much to Nolan’s delight, Nico didn’t look any worse than when the Flyers had been in Newark. He didn’t look better, but at least he didn’t look worse.

“It was nice of you to offer to let him stay here,” Jesper said. 

“Of course, I figured he might want a change in scenery.”

It wasn’t like Jesper was particularly warm to Nolan, not that he expected him to be, but there was a similar edge to his voice that Taylor had had.

“Can I get you anything to eat?” Nolan asked at least trying to maintain the semblance of being a good host.

“No, I have to head back to Newark anyways since we have practice at 10 tomorrow.”

Jesper checked with Nico one more time to ensure that he was comfortable before heading back to Newark. Nolan finally felt himself relax when it was just him and Nico in the apartment. 

“No Taylor?” Nolan couldn’t resist asking.

“No, he stayed in Newark,” Nico said, “Since the last time you two were in the same room he tried to fight you.”

“I don’t think Jesper really likes me either,” Nolan said.

Nico didn’t look at Nolan when he responded, shrugging, “To be fair you’re a Flyer, we’re not supposed to like you.”

“You do,” Nolan said.

“Sometimes,” Nico said with a disarming smile.

Nolan cleared his throat, “Uh, I wasn’t sure if you were up for doing anything, or not, but I have a couple of ideas of things that we could do while you’re here.”

Nico paused for a second, “Yeah, I feel up for doing something.”  
“Great, do you want to grab lunch, you must be starving,” Nolan said.

“Sure, show me all the best places in Philly.”   
  


Nolan had consulted Claude, Ryanne, and Ghost for the list of restaurants he’d selected. Nolan’s standards had been lowered since he’d started living on his own and though he was a decent cook, he appreciated any time he could get a meal out. Even though Nico had agreed to go out, he looked pretty tired and Nolan couldn’t help but wonder if Nico had just agreed because he thought that’s what Nolan wanted him to do. He chose the salad place only about two blocks away from his apartment. 

“What is it with you and salads?” Nico griped.

“What they’re healthy for you,” Nolan shrugged, though Nico was right. Nolan never ate as much salad before as he was trying to shove off on Nico.

Nico ordered some mexican salad while Nolan got his usual, something that his sister had recommended once and he’d grown to like. “I was really surprised that you decided to come,” Nolan said between forkfuls. 

“Yeah?” Nico asked as he moved his food around.

“I didn’t think you’d agree, but I’m really glad.”  
“Why wouldn’t I?” Nico asked.

Nolan paused, “I guess, things have been a little awkward between us lately- not because of everything that’s happened. It was starting to get a little weird beforehand, and I guess we didn’t speak as frequently with each other.”  
Nico shrugged, “I mean, the season got busy and besides few friendships that start at the draft last as long as ours.”

“Yeah, I mean do you keep in contact with anyone still?” 

“Besides you? A few in our conference, I’ll grab dinner with Gabe sometimes if we’re playing each other and Casey and I still text.” 

_ Casey.  _ There it was again. 

“So you guys are friends?” Nolan asked.

“Yeah, I mean we all hung out during the draft and stuff, I mean you were there,” Nico shrugged.

That was the problem, Nolan  _ had _ been there, but his recollection of events had failed him. Besides, this past year had just exposed how little he’d been paying attention in 2017. “Yeah, I lost contact with a lot of them,” Nolan admitted.

“But you kept in touch with me,” Nico said, “Because I’m  _ special _ .”

“That’s not a compliment,” Nolan said.

Nico smiled with a mouthful of salad. By the time that Nolan had finished his, Nico had barely eaten a third.

“You didn’t like it?” Nolan asked. 

“No, I did, it was good. I just wasn’t that hungry,” Nico said and Nolan suddenly remembered  _ why _ Nico was here. “But, hey, I’ll take it for later and it’ll be a great snack for tonight,” Nico tried to reassure Nolan.

 

By the time they walked back, Nico was tired, though Nolan assumed he wouldn’t really say anything. “Hey, I’m a little tired from practice, is it okay if I go take a nap and then we can do something later tonight.”

Nolan might have been mistaken but for a moment relief flashed across Nico’s face. “Yeah, I’ll take one too, I guess.” 

Nolan made sure that everything was set in Nico’s guest room and headed to his own room while Nico napped. He pulled out his phone and texted Casey.

_ Casey, it’s Nolan. Can we talk sometime today? _

He responded in a few moments.  _ Sure, Lias said you might want to talk. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long break between updates. I hope you like the new chapter.

Nico woke up a few hours later. It was pushing the limits of the definition of a nap, but Nolan knew that Nico was even more tired than usual and between traveling to Philly and going out to eat he had been more taxed than usual. Nolan occasionally checked in on Nico, just to be sure that everything was okay, but everything he peeked into the guest room, Nico didn’t look like he was going to wake up anytime soon.

The sun was starting to set by the time that Nico did come out of the room. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep so long,” Nico said.

Nolan shrugged, “It’s okay, you were tired. Did you want the rest of your salad?”  
“Yeah, I could eat.”  
Nolan heated up some leftover lasagna for himself that still seemed edible after he sniffed it.

“Thanks again for letting me come here,” Nico said.

“You’re welcome, I’m really happy that you’re here. I mean it.”

Nico opened his mouth as if to say something but shook his head and decided to eat his salad. There were so many questions that Nolan wanted to ask. 

“Are you okay with watching some hockey?” Nolan asked instead.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“I just wasn’t sure if it would be too much for you,” Nolan said.

“I haven’t played in an actual game in weeks, watching it on TV is about the closest I’ll come.”

“Aren’t you mad?” Nolan asked. 

Nico chuckled dryly, “Believe me, I was, but I’ve had years to get adjusted to the fact that my career’s probably over.” Nolan knew that it wasn’t  _ just _ Nico’s career that would be ending soon but was grateful that Nico didn’t say it out loud. 

“Did you know?” Nolan asked. “When it happened?”

Nico’s eyes glazed over and his jaw set tightly, “I knew that I’d been rejected, but we were at the draft and it seemed insignificant at the time.”

NBC came on with a game between the Golden Knights and the Canucks. Nolan was spared having to answer when the TV erupted in cheers after Karlsson scored. Nico was affixed to the TV as well and for a while they relaxed into a comfortable silence with only the commentary from the announcers and the crowd’s cheers filling his apartment. 

Nothing had prepared Nolan for these sorts of conversations. When he had been captain in Brandon he’d had his share of uncomfortable conversations to mitigate things between teammates and occasionally between the team and management, but he had no experience with this. He had no clue what to say to Nico or how best to help him or even where their friendship stood. 

He was lost in his own thoughts when he felt his leg being wedged up and looked over at Nico who had turned and had stretched out his legs. 

“Sorry, my feet were cold,” Nico said. 

Nolan laughed and scooted into a more comfortable position. “Good?” He asked. 

“Yeah.”

The period ended with the Knights having a 3-1 lead and they headed to intermission. Nolan stood up to get a snack and grabbed a blanket from his room. He draped it over Nico who looked up in surprise.

“You said you were cold,” Nolan said. 

“Yeah, thanks.”

When Nolan came back with two bowls of popcorn, Nico had curled up into a corner of the couch. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, I just wanted to give you more room,” Nico said.

“I didn’t mean-” Nolan started. “Here.” He grabbed a corner of the blanket and dragged it over to his side of the couch. “Sorry, I’m not really good at this.”

Nico sighed, “I don’t remember things being this awkward between us.”

“It didn’t use to be,” Nolan admitted, “I just don’t know how to act around you sometimes.”

Nico just looked at him sadly. 

“You don’t have to treat me like I’ll break or feel guilty,” Nico said.

“I’m not. I don’t. I just… you didn’t tell me,” Nolan said. 

“I didn’t tell a lot of people,” Nico said. 

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t have had to fucking find out from one of your teammates,” Nolan said frustrated at himself and mad at the whole situation. 

“I can’t believe you’re making this about yourself,” Nico said and Nolan could see him visibly closing in on himself, pulling the blanket around himself like a shield. 

“I mean, you didn’t have to go through this alone.”

“I didn’t. I have my family, I have my teammates and they’ve all been great. You’re just upset that you weren’t the first to know. Come on, Nolan, you have to know that you’re the last person that I want to talk about this with,” Nico snapped. “Look, I’m just gonna go to bed, okay?” 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Nolan said.

“No, you’re not. You’ve always done this. I’m tired, okay?” Nico said and stood up so there was no room for discussion. 

“Goodnight,” Nolan whispered but the only response was the door slamming behind Nico.

“Fuck,” Nolan said. It was only ten thirty, but he felt exhausted. He had practice in the morning and he’d messed up enough for one night.

He headed to bed and buried himself under the covers. 

“Hey,” Casey said. “I was wondering when you’d call.”

“Sorry, something came up,” Nolan said, “So…”

“So…” Casey repeated and Nolan was reminded as to why they hadn’t kept in touch. 

“You know what’s wrong with Nico.”

“Yeah, he told me a few months ago.” Nolan tried to push back the sting that even Casey  _ fucking _ Middlestadt had known before him.

“It’s not you?” Nolan asked.

“No, god,” Casey almost laughed, “Sorry, but I’m definitely  _ not _ Nico’s type.”

“Okay, well do you know who his soulmate is?”

“I don’t not know,” Casey replied.

“Okay? Would you like to share?” Nolan asked impatiently.

“I mean, I don’t know what you want from me,” Casey replied equally impatiently.

“A name…”

“I mean, it’s you, isn’t it?” Casey asked. 

“Fuck you’re useless,” Nolan said. “Of course it’s not me. If it was me he wouldn’t have SRS.”

“ _Oh_. Oh.”  
Fuck. Nolan had just told Casey of all people about his stupid crush that he’d harbored on and off since 

“Sorry, I don’t know then,” Casey said.

“You just said you did,” Nolan replied.

“I thought it was you,” Casey said. “Nico never actually told me, but I was around you both for the entire draft, I mean I just thought... I mean what are you even planning on doing if you find out who it is?”

“I don’t know, fix this.”  
“What? Force them to like Nico? You’re so stupid Nolan. That’s not even a plan.”

“Well it’s better than whatever you’re doing,” Nolan said and hung up. Casey had been no help and that had been Nolan’s best lead. He knew one other person who would probably know, but making that call involved swallowing a lot of pride and after tonight Nolan didn’t have much left. Besides, getting Taylor Hall to cooperate would be a lot harder than he’d thought. 

 

When he got up in the morning, Nico’s door was still shut. Nolan had pondered opening it to make sure that Nico was okay, but he opted not to, trying to give Nico one less reason to be mad at him.

Instead, he looked up a recipe for healthy breakfasts online and tried his best to make an omelette following the directions. He put it in the fridge and left Nico a note for when he woke up to let him know that there was something to eat. He’d gone to practice a little on edge that he was leaving Nico alone in case the other man needed something, but it was just two hours long and he didn’t plan on sticking around after practice. 

“You good?” TK asked after Nolan hit the puck so hard that Alex had ducked to avoid getting hit. Again.

“Yup.”

“Cause it looks like you’re trying to kill our goalie.”

“I’m not.”  
“How’s Nico?” 

“Mad at me,” Nolan gritted out.

“And that’s why you’re trying to kill Alex?”

Nolan just glared at him. 

“Look, let’s grab lunch after practice.”

“I can’t,” Nolan said, “I’m going home afterwards.”

“Okay, then can I at least come over for dinner?” TK asked. Nolan glanced at him warily.

“I like Nico,” TK said. “I’ll even bring dinner.”

“Something healthy, okay?” 

“Fine,” TK rolled his eyes.

 

Nolan was in a better mood when he returned home but his mood dimmed when he opened his door and saw Nico’s bags in the living room.

“What are you doing?” Nolan asked with dread.

“I think it’s best if I go back to New Jersey, Taylor’s coming to pick me up.”

“What?” Nolan asked in disbelief. Sure they’d had a fight yesterday but he hadn’t thought it was this bad.

“I’m sorry, I really appreciate you opening your home to me, but I think it’s best if I’m not here.”  
“Um, okay, if that’s what you want, but just so you know, I want you here… and I know it’s not about me, I heard you last night, but I don’t want you to leave if you think that’s what I want to happen.”

“It’s just… it’s a little hard to be here right now,” Nico said. Nolan heard  _ It’s a little hard to be around you _ . 

“Can you just stay until dinner, I mean Taylor can join us, just, uh, Travis Konecny wanted to stop by and say hi.”  
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Nico said. 

“Thanks,” Nolan said thickly. He wasn’t sure how he had expected this to pan out, but he certainly hadn’t imagined it ending like this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I'm at anechteechteliebe (main) or queenofbroadstreet (hockey) on tumblr. I'm super friendly, I promise.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos. As predicted this chapter is Taylor and Nolan interacting.

There were so many things that Nolan wanted to say. Nico had never had set a return date to head back to Jersey but now it was happening and Nolan had no say. Part of him wanted to just go to his room, shut the door, and wait for Taylor to come and pick Nico up, but he wasn’t eighteen anymore. 

“I’m sorry I disappointed you,” Nolan said.

“Which time?” Nico asked and Nolan couldn’t help but flinch at the stinging comment. “I didn’t mean it like that, sorry, I just didn’t know what exactly you’re apologizing for.”  
“I’m sorry that all this time I’ve been pushing you to talk and open up and answer my questions when the whole point of this was to give you a break from everything. And I just made things worse.” 

“Oh,” Nico said.

“Was there something else I should be apologizing for?” Nolan asked. 

“I guess not,” Nico said, “It, it wasn’t all you, Nolan.” 

“What’s going to happen now?” Nolan asked.

“I- I don’t know,” Nico said, “I’ll probably stay with Taylor for a while and then maybe head back to Switzerland, you know.”  
“Remember when we were rookies?” Nolan asked, “At the draft, they asked me if I couldn’t play for Canada who would I play for.”

Nico paused, “I don’t really remember much from the draft.”

Nolan smiled bitterly, “I said Switzerland. You showed me all the pictures and you just kept talking about it and it kind of felt like I’d been there. I’ve never gotten there, though.”

“Hm…” Nico said.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Nico said. “We were so young back then. It feels like another lifetime ago.”

“Five years, a lot changes.”

“Some things never do, though,” Nico said and Nolan had no idea what they were even talking about anymore.

 

Taylor came shortly after two, pushing his way past Nolan and making a beeline to check Nico over. “Hey, you ready to go?”

“Um, I was hoping we could stay for dinner. Travis wanted to come over,” Nico said.

“Who the fuck is Travis?” Taylor asked.

“Konecny,” Nolan filled in. Taylor barely spared him a glance.

“Seriously?” Taylor asked.

“Travis has always been nice to me,” Nico said, “I mean if you really want to leave now, we can. I’m thankful you came to pick me up, but…”

Taylor’s face scrunched up like he’d eaten something unpalatable. But even though Taylor might hate him, Nolan knew that he loved Nico. “Fine, we’re leaving after supper, though.”

 

Nolan had never felt as unwelcome in his own home as he did while they were waiting for Travis. Nico, sensing that Taylor wasn’t going to be friendly to Nolan, had taken the initiative to put on the NHL Network and were watching the breakdown on the Canucks last game. Irritation and anger were radiating from Taylor and even if Nico was able to ignore it, Nolan was acutely aware of it. Partway through the second hour of watching TV, Nico began to yawn and was trying to fight sleep.

“You should take a nap,” Taylor said. 

Nico looked between Taylor and Nolan, “I can sleep on the ride back.”

“I have to go to the store anyways,” Nolan said, “Grab some stuff for supper.”

“I’ll go, too,” Taylor said, “That way you can have the place to yourself.”

Nolan tried to smile, but he knew that it looked more like a grimace. He had hoped that he’d get some time out of the apartment to get some time away from Taylor, but he could be cordial.

Nico nodded, his fatigue getting the better of him but stopped past Taylor on his way to the bedroom. He leaned down and whispered something indiscernible to him.

Taylor just nodded and they waited a few moments before Taylor stood up.

“Let’s go,” he said.   


The first couple of minutes of their walk were in complete silence. Nolan usually had a casual pace when making the occasional trip to the grocery store, but the five blocks from his place to Whole Foods seemed extraordinarily long. 

“Nico’s been here what, three days, and you manage to fuck it up,” Taylor snapped. 

“I know,” Nolan said. He knew that he rubbed people the wrong way sometimes, but he still didn’t know what he’d done to particularly piss Taylor off. 

“Such a fucking idiot,” Taylor said.

“Look, I know I fucked up, but what do you want me to do? I’m trying to fix things which is more than I can say about you,” Nolan said. 

Taylor’s eyes flashed with something and before Nolan realized it, he was pinned up against the brick wall of the closest building. “All you do is fuck things up. You weren’t there for the doctor’s visits, you weren’t there when he had to go sit down after fifteen minutes of practice, you weren’t there on the nights that he cried himself to sleep. I was. So don’t you  _ dare _ say that I haven’t been trying to fix things.”

Nolan blinked as Taylor’s voice cracked and his eyes were suspiciously watery. Taylor seemed to notice the curious stares of people walking by on the street and let go of Nolan. He rubbed an arm across his eyes and cleared his throat. 

“Whatever, what did you want to get anyways?” Taylor asked.

“Some wine, maybe, some kind of cake,” Nolan said seeing this as Taylor’s way out. 

“Okay, let’s go.”   
  


“I know you don’t like me, but we’re on the same side whether or not you believe it,” Nolan said as they headed up to his apartment with grocery bags in their hands.

Taylor just scoffed, “I don’t believe it.”

“I’ve been trying to find his soulmate,” Nolan said. “It can be reversed, you know, if his soulmate changes his mind.”

“What?”

“I mean there have only been a couple of cases, but it’s our only shot. So, here’s my thinking. Based on the progression, I’m thinking that Nico met his soulmate around the time of the draft and I’ve been trying to narrow it down. I’m thinking that they had to be in the top 20 because we spent the most time with each other, but it could also be interviewers or scouts and if that’s the case then we’re pretty fucked.”

Taylor just looked at him as the elevator doors opened.

“I’m not asking you for me, but I know that you love him, too.”

“Too?” 

Nolan realized what he’d said and frowned. He hadn’t meant to tell Taylor that, he hadn’t even meant to say it aloud and with the way that things were going, he expected Taylor to throw it back in his face.

“Please, this is Nico’s only shot.” 

Nolan’s heart sank as Taylor brushed past him and lead the way towards his apartment. Nolan had just gotten his answer.

 

Nolan intercepted Travis on the way up to his apartment when supper finally came, “How’s our favorite Devil doing?” TK asked.

Nolan peered into grocery bag that was filled with takeout containers from a local Italian restaurant, breathing a sigh of relief that TK hadn’t been brazen enough to cook. 

“Nico’s actually going back to New Jersey,” Nolan said.

“Because of the fight?” TK asked.

“Yeah, and other reasons, too. And Taylor Hall is here,” Nolan said. 

“How’s that going?” TK asked.

“Not well,” Nolan replied.

TK just snorted, “Well, this dinner will be interesting to say the least. Seriously, though, have you told him how you feel?”

Nolan shook his head, “And you’re not going to either.”

“I wouldn’t- just if this is your last chance, don’t you not want to have any regrets?” TK asked. 

“It’s not,” Nolan said and gritted his teeth. The introductions were awkward, although Taylor seemed marginally friendlier towards TK.

“Hey, Nico,” Travis said as he pulled Nico in for a hug that took everybody off guard. “I hope italian food is okay.”

Nolan was envious of the way the TK was able to make easy conversation. The elephant in the room seemed to have had no bearing on the way that TK talked about the playoffs and summer plans and he eased everyone into a calm peace that Taylor and Nolan were at least able to respect. 

“I’m glad that you were able to come to Philly,” Travis said, “It’s a pretty cool place.”

“It’s a nice change in scenery,” Taylor agreed and Nolan almost dared to say that it was a compliment. He wasn’t the only one shocked as Nico glanced over at Taylor, trying to judge if his comment was sincere. “It’s better than Edmonton, at least.”

Nolan quirked a smile. Maybe the walk had done something. 

 

After supper, TK was still easily chatting with Nico and Taylor gave a small tilt of his head to coax Nolan outside.

“You really don’t know who is soulmate is, do you?” Taylor asked. He wasn’t mocking this time, instead he almost sounded incredulous. Nolan gritted his teeth. It was hard enough to swallow his pride to ask Taylor for help, but he didn’t think that Taylor would stoop so low to gloat about Nolan not knowing.

“Nico never told me who his soulmate was,” Taylor continued. “Even as all of this was happening, he still wanted to protect him.”

Nolan’s heart sank. It was one thing if Taylor knew but wouldn’t tell him, but it was another completely that Taylor didn’t know.

“I do know, though,” Taylor said. 

Taylor narrowed his eyes, “So all this time I thought you were in denial or trying to, like pin it on someone else, but you really don’t know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s you, isn’t it?” Taylor asked. 

“No, that’s not possible,” Nolan said. “We aren’t… we never…”

“It is you, though,” Taylor said. This time it wasn’t a question. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at queenofbroadstreet on tumblr if anyone want to chat or swap headcanons <3


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